there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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