he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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