What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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