I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
