Fuck appropriateness.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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