I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Operation Purity has been aborted
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize