is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
