I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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