Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
