He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
