I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
