It's Friday. Sex?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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