We got so high we made milksteak
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
