I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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