her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
