If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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