Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
