New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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