You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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