The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
