I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
