I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
