I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
