we have officially lost it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
as a side note pls kill me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
