my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
