I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
