My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think i have two assholes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
