Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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