Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
