Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
