dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
