You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
