: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We have started to decorate penises.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
