you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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