so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
