remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
