Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize