You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
