Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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