So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
