i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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