I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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