I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
