I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
