There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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