my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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