I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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