I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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