you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize