the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
