How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
