Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
