I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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