In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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