I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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