i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
