The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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