Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
