She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
