Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize