Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Enjoy the penises
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
