we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
