Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize