Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
