Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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