I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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