Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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