I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
