just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
