She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize